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CuteKidSyndrome-By-Proxy

I saw this article and at first I thought "Jeez!" Whether or not these findings are unsupported, I can attest that people (adults and children alike) respond much more positively to "cute" or "pretty" children (as they do with anything cute and pretty really). Toddler YingYang is - for the lack of a better way to say it - damn cute. The type of attention she gets when we are out in public is really quite amazing. Supermarket cashiers, bank tellers, the hair-wash girl at the beauty shop all light up, giggling and cooing, whenever Toddler YY comes by.

Even more startling, I have seen parents accompanied by their own kids, react like they just saw the Second Coming of Christ. "Aieee!!!! Oh my god!! Hello little baby! Oh she is so cute! Blah blah de blah de blah! Oh I'll sell my soul just for the chance to touch her hand! Aieeee!!" Initially, I must admit it was terribly flattering. Call it CuteKidSyndrome-by-Proxy. As the parent of a cute kid, I myself was lavished a great deal of attention. It's quite addictive, let me tell you, for both my child and myself. The two of us would preen and act all coy, revelling in the limelight. What fun.

Until one day I saw the eyes of the Other Parent's child. In them was a heart-rending look of conflicted feelings, like the child herself wanted to coo and fuss over Toddler YY, yet she was well aware that the display of attention that her mother was going on with was not directed towards her. And from that one moment, that one glimpse at that child's face, all the enjoyment of the CKS-B-Proxy attention began to wane. After all, who among us hasn't at some time or the other, experienced that same feeling of hurt and betrayal? Not just from our parents or friends or family, but also from our own selves? And despite how flattering it is, do I really want my child to grow up expecting this kind of reaction, having this odd sense of entitlement?

So now when someone Ooo's and Ah's, I thank them politely and move on. Toddler YY, as she enters the second phase of the terrible two's, is becoming less and less "cutesy" and more and more "toddler-y", thus diminishing the CuteKid reaction quite a bit. Just the other day in the supermarket, in Aisle 3 Toddler YY was singing "Are you sleeping, Brother John", complete with mis-prounciations. An older woman passing by smiled and patted her head. "Oh how cute". But when we met up with her again at the end of Aisle 5, Toddler YY was now a screaming ball of "I Want Dat!", complete with snotty nose and flailing fists. Yeah. No more "Oh how cute" looks. Instead I got the "Can't you control your kid?" look. *SIGH* Talk about Disapproval-by-Proxy.

Ahhh, kids. What. Fun?

Posted by YingYang at 12:38 PM